Today is my parent’s 30th wedding anniversary. (Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad!) They have been together for 37 years as a couple. My parent’s met in the summer of 1978 after graduating from the same high school-the one I would later attend. My dad looked up my mom’s phone number and called to ask her out to a movie, “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club.” When they got engaged, my dad proposed in the kitchen of her parent’s house. They got married a few years later on January 19th, 1985 in front of family and close friends. 30 years later and they are still in love and growing within their marriage. I decided to sit down with them and ask them a few questions.
Describe your first date:
Dad- That was the infamous movie trip to see Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band with the Bee Gees and Peter Frampton and your uncle decided to tag along to see the movie with us!
Dad, how did you propose?
Dad-It was in her parents kitchen while they were on a trip. I got down on my knee the old-fashioned way and said, “I think it’s about time we got married.” Her parents knew it was coming. We had been dating for so long, it was really just making it official.
Does your wedding day feel like just yesterday?
Mom-Yes and no. It doesn’t seem like it’s been that long until you look at the pictures.
Dad-I have to agree with that. The physical proof is in the pudding!
What were you guys feeling on your wedding day?
Mom- I was feeling very sure of what I was doing.
Dad- Oh, I was sure.
How did you handle your first year of marriage?
Dad-I’m trying to remember our first year of marriage.
Mom-We didn’t see a whole lot of each other. We worked different shifts.
Dad- But again it goes back to the fact that we had been going together for 6 1/2 years before we got married. There wasn’t much adjustment.
Mom-But we didn’t live together.
Mom-Oh, your father leaving the pizza box in the oven was the kicker for me!
When Matt and I came along, how did you keep your relationship in check?
Mom- Humor. Lots of humor. You have to laugh a lot. Kids were not a big change in our marriage. Kids are gradual. When you get them, they are small and they don’t move around much.
Dad-You have to understand we also had four years were we didn’t have children. We already had four years together where we did a lot of things together and children were just the next logical step. We were together for 11 years when you were born.
How have you both grown together in your marriage?
Mom-We tolerate each other very well. You are more patient. As you get older, you learn to choose your battles wisely.
Dad- Selective deafness!
Mom-And whats important to fight about and whats not and most of it is petty crap.
Dad- And sometimes, it’s just not worth it. One of us gives up and says screw it!
Mom-It’s usually your dad!
What is the key to 30 years of marriage?
Mom- Compromise, listening and patience.
Dad-If you ask any couple that have been married that long, they’re going to say the same thing we’re saying!
Mom-If you want to make it work, you work at it.
Dad-Yeah. You gotta wannna! If you don’t want it, it’s not going to work.
What piece of advice would you give a newlywed couple?
Mom- It takes two people in a marriage to make it work.
Mom- You know two people are going to be working. two people are going to be making the house run whether it be grocery shopping or cleaning the house or taking the dog out. It takes two people to do all that stuff.
Dad- You got to understand that over a 30 year period or 50 year period or a 60 year period or how ever long you live together, that it is constant work. You’re not always going to be on the same wavelengths because after all you are still individuals. There is a lot of compromise. You have to be committed. Because if you are not committed, then what’s the point in getting started in the first place.
What is it like to be married for 30 years?
Mom- Comfortable. Fun!
Dad- You are so used to the other individual.
Mom- It’s fun! We still get to laugh.
Dad- We laugh at a lot of things. We laugh at ourselves!
Mom- We laugh at stupid stuff. And you have to have a sense of humor.